In fact, every day I make a living amends to my husband, son, Mom, and brother Ricky. Yet, to be truly successful at forgiving and releasing past wrongs, you need to go directly to the individual you’ve hurt. When you go directly to the person, real spiritual transformation is more likely to occur. You need to find the approach that works best for you. Talk with your sponsor or others in your recovery community about what has worked for them. If your actions match your intentions and you reach out in person, you are doing the next right thing to right past wrongs.

You may not be able to rectify “everything” you’ve done to the other person, but you can repair specific wrongs. The spiritual purpose of making amends is to find inner peace, freedom, release, and rebirth. While this step involves a direct exchange with another person, its goal has everything to do with healing and addiction recovery on the part of the person making the amends. Think of amends as actions taken that demonstrate your new way of life in recovery, whereas apologies are basically words.

A Final Note about Amends

Step 8 is confronting your mistakes and making a list of people you have hurt with your negative actions. Step 9 is about meeting with those people to actively redress the wrongs. The 12 Step program is beneficial in helping people smoothly transition to each new stage in their recovery. The beauty of this process for newcomers and those unsure of where to go next is that their recovery from alcoholism is outlined in twelve in-depth action steps.

These changes can positively impact the people you love and care about. A key difference when striving to make amends and gain the forgiveness of family living amends and friends is that it’s a never-ending process. You need to follow the same steps you would with an acquaintance, but then take it even further.

Like it? Share with your friends!

The eighth step then helps the individual prepare to accomplish step nine. In many 12-step recovery programs, making amends is an important part of the process. For example, Alcoholic Anonymous (AA)’s ninth step involves making amends to the individuals in your life who were affected by your addiction.

living amends examples

You can start making amends by showing up, even if it’s years later, to do the things you said you’d do. These changes in behavior help toward the goal of reestablishing relationships or making them stronger. You’ll make different mistakes in the future, but the point is that you’re striving to be the very best person you can be from here on out. It’s a day-by-day process, and each day is a fresh opportunity.

Tips for Making Living Amends

Working on forgiveness before making amends is very important. As we let go of the past, accept the truth about it and learn about our freedom of choice in recovery today, we begin to feel a new inner peace. This opens the door to restoring relationships with ourselves and others. Without forgiveness, we harbor resentments and our amends may not be genuine.

Don’t just say “I’m sorry for what I’ve done,” and be specific about how you caused them pain. Although it will be difficult to bring up some of the things you did in the past, they will no doubt appreciate your efforts and courage in facing them. I am not proud of that, but it is the reality of how I used to behave. I also made countless promises to her that I did not keep. It ranged from promising to fix something around the house to going to a family gathering. The first step is to know that your questions and feelings are normal.

Some people may see our codependent behaviors as normal and want to discount them and our amends. Accepting that this is their view, we can restate our amends to help keep our boundaries and recovery perspective in order. We remember we are cleaning up our part in each relationship, no matter how others may see it.

America’s Net Neutrality Question: Should the FCC Define the … – Slashdot

America’s Net Neutrality Question: Should the FCC Define the ….

Posted: Sun, 29 Oct 2023 19:38:50 GMT [source]

It’s really hard to apologize to those you’ve hurt — it takes courage and humility and requires a deep, intense look at yourself. It follows, then, that Step Nine is a challenging step. Thankfully, there are tips you can take to help make your living amends permanent and lasting.

Deixe um comentário

O seu endereço de e-mail não será publicado. Campos obrigatórios são marcados com *